March 25 - 31, 2013
Thursday, March 28. Wow, I'm finally getting around to writing this week. I have been busy with long work days taking up most of my time. Fortunately, I have come home to dinners prepared for me by Chef Pat - I am spoiled again.
Tuesday afternoon, I got a call from the jewelry store where I took Mike's wedding ring in for resizing. It was ready, so I stopped to pick it up. I think it might be a bit too tight, so I am trying it for a while to see if it is uncomfortable. I'm afraid the summer heat might make my finger swell and it will be too tight. Darn!
I got up this morning and headed out for a long morning walk with Pat and Rog. It was out of the ordinary for me to get moving that early in the morning but it felt good. When we got back home, Pat and I left so she could get a haircut and then we went to Costco to stock up and resupply some of the paper products for our clubhouse.
Back home again, we gathered some things together and headed out to the Salt River for a hike with the dogs. Along the way, we stopped for a Subway sandwich and an annual Tonto pass for the car to make it legal to park in the parking lot.
Before we started walking, I heard the sound of rocks tumbling down the hillside. Looking up, we spotted a woman that had slipped on the rocks and was kind of frozen in place and afraid to move on. A friend of hers on the ground helped guide her to a safe route to come back down. Several times, the rocks slipped under her feet and rolled down the hill. I don't think it was to wise to be by herself up there, but that's just me.
Our walk was enjoyable. Little lizards were darting across the path and we saw some hawks and a heron along the way. The dogs enjoyed a few stops along the shoreline where they took a dip and cooled off.
I received good news today. My niece Amber is expecting her 2nd child this August. Congrats to Amber and Joel and I wish them a healthy pregnancy and a speedy delivery!
Sunday, March 31. Today was a rough day and it hit just as soon as I hung up the phone from a very nice conversation with Pat. As I got ready for the day, I thought about all of the Easters that I had together with Mike and family. I was invited to Nan and Dale's for Easter dinner and decided to take Mike's Miata that probably needs to be driven. Walking into the house, Nan and I hugged and cried together. It's just not right.
The day got better as it went on.
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March 18 - 24, 2013
Tuesday, March 19, 2013 Pat came and picked me up Monday morning and we headed to Wyocena to meet with the Social Worker to give Mom the news. Sharon, Chad, Tom and Karen joined us. Mom looked around the table at us all with a blank look and didn't know our names. We cut to the chase and gave her the news and gave her a copy of both obituaries. She repeatedly read them and I think she was absorbing a little at a time.
Later that day, I called to see how she was doing and they said her comments were that they had the same name as her she recognized Michael's picture. The poor thing - she is so frail and "out there". I get the feeling she might not be with us for long, they say that she is eating very little.
Today, we went to see my cousins Fran and Kenny and Fran's sons Larry and Jim. We had a nice visit, looked at pictures, and shared lots of family stories.
Friday, March 22. It was 7 degrees when I woke up Wednesday morning, I guess I've gotten to see an assortment of Wisconsin wintry weather during my short stay. Pat took me to Rockford and my flight was on time and got me back to Mesa safely.
Pat H met me at the airport and Frisco was crazy excited when I walked in the door. She also had corned beef and cabbage ready for dinner - yum! Once they left the house, I lost it and cried for the next couple of hours. Ben was feeling lost too and was glad that I called him after he got Charlotte tucked in bed.
Yesterday was a much better day. I got some chores done and some errands run. The cars and mobile home are now in my name. The lady that helped me at the DMV was telling me that she lost her mother to COPD just recently too, but she was debilitated from it for 10 years; suffered 2 strokes, a heart attack, was on oxygen and in a wheel chair all of that time. I'm so thankful that Mike didn't have to face that.
Today, I got a few more things done around the house; house cleaned, Frisco bathed, ears treated, and nails trimmed, and then I got all of my insurance changes taken care of. I also went to my favorite yarn store, Fiber Factory, and got what I needed to finish a scarf that I started a while back. I also got yarn to knit Charlotte a sweater. It's been a long time since I have knit anything - I may be running back there for help when I get stuck. Gotta keep busy around here in the evenings.
Sunday, March 24. I made it through my 45th anniversary ok, not that I didn't think of Mike constantly, but I tried to reflect back on those celebrations in the past. I even had a glass of wine with dinner and toasted to our many good years together. He even came to me in a dream, he was lying bed giggling - that was a good thought to wake up to.
Today was busy, starting with a walk through the desert gardens at a nearby community. The gardeners of the community have volunteered their time and efforts to keep the greenway that runs along the power lines well planted and maintained with nice walkways and places to sit and take a break along the way. Connie, Pat, and Roger and the 2 dogs all enjoyed a nice morning walk. Right at the end, Pat got attacked by a Jumping Cholla cactus. Thankfully, Mike was always prepared and had a multi-tool in the car. I pulled at least 19 barbs out of the calf of her leg. Frisco had one in his foot earlier but it wasn't as difficult to remove as Pat's. I know, we should have taken a photo but didn't.
We all had errands to run, the Hoovey's moved into my house for the week, as they are having some modifications done to their motorhome. Pat and I made it to the pool for a while this afternoon. They had a dinner date, so I had a quiet night at home.
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March 11 - 17, 2013
Monday, March 11. After hearing bad news from Sharon yesterday afternoon that Dan had gone into cardiac arrest, I tried to prepare myself for bad news. And it came this morning - Dan passed away around 11:00 last night. I can't even describe how I'm feeling right now, but I didn't sleep well and was awake at 4:30. Our family has been hit real hard and I just hope it stops soon. Rest in Peace, dear brother, Dan, you will be missed by many and I hope you find Dad and Mike out there somewhere.
Thursday, March 14. I made it through the work week - not sure if I ever want to do that kind of work again. People are uptight right about now, especially since they started hearing rumors about next years price increases. The news came out and folks are not very happy about it.
I made arrangements to fly back to Wisconsin for Dan's memorial service on Saturday. Pat will pick me up in Rockford and I will spend most of the time with Sharon at her home. I was fortunate to have had Pat and Ben with me and she really needs someone too.
I was just looking through some poems that I've saved through the years and this one that I came upon while reading Willie Nelson's latest book "Roll Me Up and Smoke Me When I Die" - I should have played the song at Mike's service. Anyway...I like this.
Always Now
Willie Nelson
It�??s always now
Nothing ever goes away
Everything is here to stay
And it�??s always now
It�??s always now
There never was a used to be
Everything is still with me
And it�??s always now
So brace your heart
And save yourself some sanity
It�??s more than just a memory
And it�??s always now
And here�??s your part
Sing it like a melody
There�??s really only you and me
And it�??s always now
It has been a long time since I have sat quietly and relaxed on the patio, listening to Folk Alley, having a beer, smelling the sweet odor of orange blossoms, and hearing the sounds of many different birds and the whirring of hummingbirds. I have missed this part of my life - that is why I'm here. Only wish Mike was here to enjoy it with me. I really do need to find ways to relax and enjoy my life in spite of all of the recent sad events.
Saturday, March 16. My flight to Wisconsin was smooth and on time. Pat picked me up in Rockford, it was right in the 35 degree range and dripping a light rain. Most of the snow has melted but is gray and black where it is piled up on the roadsides, a real dreary day.
We stopped off at Pat's house for a bite of lunch before going up to be with Sharon, her daughter Rachael's family, and Mike's brother Tom and his wife Karen. After a couple of hour visit, Sharon and I headed to her house in Portage. Walking into their house was hard, Dan wasn't standing there to greet us. A couple of neighbors stopped by, delivering food and checking on Sharon. We then had to go to the store to pick up a few breakfast items, we don't have to worry about food for a few days. As we drove to the store, we had to stop for a deer crossing the road. That one was followed by about ten others - good thing Sharon was expecting there to be more.
We spent the night doing laundry (Sharon hadn't been home for 3 weeks), going through pictures, getting our clothes ready for tomorrow's service, and just talking and remembering.
We dreaded this afternoon, but we got through it, after almost 3 hours of people coming through the line to greet the family and pay their respects. I think most of Portage knew Dan and loved him and it sure showed with the stories we were hearing. It was nice to see all of their kids and grandkids. After the service, we had a meal that was furnished by the family of their good friends Bob and Candy. We were 2 exhausted women tonight, as was everyone else, I'm sure.
Sunday, March 17. We both actually slept in for a while this morning and the sun was shining when we woke up. It wasn't long before I realized that sun was deceiving when I saw people walking with big parkas on, stocking caps, scarves around their necks, and clouds of breath leaving their mouths. Brrrrrrrr! We're supposed to have a high of only 29 degrees today.
Chad & Becky, Rachael, and Becky came by to help us write out Thank You cards. It took the 6 of us about 4 hours to get the job done. Dan and Sharon sure have a lot of good and generous friends.
Now I'm trying to prepare myself to see Mom tomorrow and give her the terrible news. I'm dreading it.
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March 4 - 10, 2013
Tuesday, March 5. I got a call on Sunday telling me that we were having a 7:30 am meeting on Monday - darn! I was looking forward to starting my workweek much later, like what the schedule said - 10:00. So that made for a long and crazy, busy day. It is a total distraction for me because it was one of those things that Mike and I never did together. Even going home for lunch wasn't too bad because he had been working the same days that I was and wouldn't be around. Getting home in the evening is a different story.
There are so many things to do; return phone calls, answer phone calls, send thank you's, take care of financial stuff, household things, taking care of myself, etc. It seems that I am jumping from one thing to another - the "unable to focus" part.
I have been talking with Dan's family regularly and he is still stable. The doctors are telling them that it will be a long haul, as his immune system is so compromised and he is being attacked by flu virus and staph infection at the same time. They put a trach in him yesterday and reduced the sedation - he was alert and aware of his surrounding, and acknowledging his family. I pray, pray, pray that he pulls through.
Thursday, March 7. Today marks 1 month since Mike was hospitalized and I have been reflecting on the series of events that led to his passing and since then. My life has been a scurry of activity that I am very thankful for - from the arrival of my 2 sons, visits from friends, Dan and Tom coming to be with Mike and us, the generosity of friends, family, and neighbors - and that continues. All of the incredible support that we have received assures me that Mike and I made good impressions on many people and I feel fortunate that we have so many GOOD friends.
Today, Pat and I decided once again, to get away from the house and go somewhere to have a nice walk and escape. We chose the Boyce Thompson Arboretum and it was a good choice. We walked the High Trail that meanders along the small Queen Creek that actually had some running water in it. I was tempted to buy some plants as the spring plant sale starts this weekend, but I resisted and bought a nice Hummingbird feeder instead. It is one that is designed to keep the larger birds from perching on it and also to keep the bees from getting the nectar.
Pat and Roger had us over for a good old Wisconsin brat fry for dinner. She gave me a gift certificate for a massage from her, her niece Kim, and my dear friend Susan. How thoughtful is that? I think I will get it scheduled for next Friday, if possible.
Friday, March 8. We were up at the crack of dawn this morning to get Pat to the airport by 6:30. His flight was on schedule and his car started right up but had to be shoveled out before he could head home. When I got back home, I started to clean up a bit and found 3 notes hidden in my bathroom cabinets, all saying "I Love You Mom" and "I Miss You Mom". What a guy! I'm so fortunate that he was able to stick around and help me get through the last 3 weeks.
It has been a rainy, dreary day. Just now, I heard a loud crack of thunder - it has been bothering Frisco all day.
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March 1 - 3, 2013
Friday, March 1, 2013 After taking care of some business and doing some housekeeping, Pat and I decided that we needed an escape. We headed to Usery Mountain State Park and hiked the Wind Cave Trail, described as a moderately difficult trail with plenty of switchbacks, it climbed to about 800 feet. The 3-mile round trip hike took about 2 hours and I was feeling a bit doubtful at one point about 2/3 of the way up. We stopped to rest frequently and finally made it to the Wind Cave, a beautiful and cool spot that was well worth the effort. I really appreciated that Pat was interested in doing this with me, as it was one of those things that I have wanted to do but Mike was unable to do. Pat just loved the hike and had never seen any landscape quite like it. We saw lots of wildflowers, some chipmonks, and heard the music of many little birds along the way. Frisco accompanied us and was also a real trooper.
Tonight, we went with Pat and Roger to Dirtwater Springs for dinner, the best fish fry spot in the area. Why? There are lots of Wisconsin folks that expect it - we sure did see lots of Wisconsin license plates in the parking lot and it felt like we were back at Barber's Bay in Stoughton. Naturally, the hard part was that Mike wasn't there with us and the 4 of us have been doing Friday Night Fish Fry's for many, many years. We had a toast to him but it just wasn't the same.
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Created on 03/02/2013 08:20 PM by bridge
Updated on 04/01/2013 09:34 AM by bridge
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